Nadya’s Nights: Road to Vengeance
Night Four: Revelations
Chapter Forty-One: Orphaned
by Indy McDaniel
Copyright © 2009 Indy McDaniel
Nadya hated the bed.
It was flat, hard, and uncomfortable as hell.
Other eight-year-old girls might have complained about the fact that it was flat out ugly. Nadya didn’t much care for the aesthetics of the bed, one way or the other. The comfort level of it, on the other hand, was much more important to her.
After all, how could you get a decent night’s rest when you were essentially lying on a plank of wood?
The pillow was filled with lumps and the blanket, if it could actually be called that, had more than a couple holes in it and – even without them – was so thin that keeping the night chills at bay wasn’t something it was capable of doing.
If asked about how her experience was going at Nikolaevna’s Orphanage for Lost Children was going, Nadya would have responded with, “Shitty.”
‘Shitty’ may not have been a traditional response for an eight-year-old girl to respond with but the sleeping arrangements weren’t the only thing not up to par at Nikolaevna’s.
The orphanage was under-funded and over-crowded. There were five adults working there and an estimated fifty or more children of varying ages. The kids picked up the curses from the over-worked adults and then they spread through the group like wildfire. The excessive amount of cursing may have been one of the reasons why the adoption rate at Nikolaevna’s was so low.
Not too many prospective parents wanted a child to tell them that someone was acting like a ‘cunt-licking ass-fucker’.
Nadya had been at the orphanage since she was four. She couldn’t remember much of anything before coming to Nikolaevna’s. She’d been told by Olga, the woman in charge of the orphanage, that she was in a better place.
Nadya found that hard to believe.
Despite her lack of age, she was quite the cynic. Not that the other children at the orphanage were much better.
Nikolaevna’s was like a crash course in the cold, hard reality of life, the world and everything. The lessons taught were that life sucked, people sucked even harder and if you wanted something, you’d best learn to fight for it, otherwise you wouldn’t get it and, even worse, you’d have what little you had taken from you by someone bigger and stronger.
The plan of action Nadya had found best to stick to was to keep as low a profile as possible. It wasn’t hard since she wasn’t a very noticeable figure. She was small enough, even for her age, that she managed to slink around and not get spotted. There were altercations, still, but not nearly as bad as some of the other kids got.
Lying on the uncomfortable bed, Nadya found sleep hard to come by. It usually was, but this night was even worse. There was more on her mind than just discomfort and colorful new words to describe her shitty living arrangements.
A new boy had arrived at the orphanage earlier that day, which meant that the grand total of children was probably now closer to sixty than fifty. Normally, every new face that arrived was enough to send all the kids into similar grimaces and low-volumed cursings – Nadya included. More children meant less food and space to go around.
Instead of calling the boy a ‘limp-dicked cocksucker’ and wanting to push him into something sharp, Nadya instead found herself thinking about him in much kinder ways. Despite what his presence meant for her and the rest of the children, she couldn’t help liking him. She’d never had a crush before, but she knew about them. They were quite frequent in the orphanage, really.
Some of the older children at the orphanage, in their teens, were definitely having sex. That was a concept Nadya wasn’t entirely clear on but supposedly it was something fun to do with someone you had a crush on.
If there was one cardinal rule at the orphanage amongst the kids, though, it was that, nobody got to have a crush on the new kid. It didn’t matter who they were, what they looked like, how nice they were. New kid meant more hardship for everyone else, which in turn meant that the rest of them gave the new kid even worse hardships to deal with.
The hazings were brutal at best.
A number of new arrivals hadn’t lasted through them, running away or, in at least two instances that Nadya had been witness to, suicide.
Nadya had a seven-inch scar that stretched down the left side of her ribcage. A large, older girl had taken a sharp piece of stone and attempted to ‘cut her fucking flat tits off’. Being just over four years old, Nadya hadn’t been quite clear as to what exactly ‘tits’ were or why the other girl wanted to cut hers off, but she did know it hurt badly and bled a lot.
One of the adults had luckily found her before the offending girl had finished her cutting and Nadya had been treated to a lot of stitches and several weeks apart from the rest of the children. Luckily, in that time, two new arrivals had come to the orphanage, so Nadya had moved further down the hit list.
The new boy – his name was Pavel – had arrived late that day, just before bedtime, so none of the other kids had a chance to terrorize him yet. Nadya was dreading the next day probably more than Pavel was. After all, the boy didn’t know what was in store for him.
Nadya did.
Normally, she was content to just stepping aside and letting the others do what they did. She didn’t get involved for the most part. If a new kid approached her and there were others looking, she’d be forced to do something mean, just to avoid getting anything done to her, but she didn’t really take much pleasure in it, like some of the others.
Nadya stared up at the dark ceiling above her head, feeling exhausted but unable to get her mind to shut off. For the first time in the four years she’d been at the orphanage, she actually felt bad about what was going to happen to one of the new arrivals.
One of the discussions a group of the kids had had a while back was about love, mainly to criticize and mock it. The concept of ‘love at first sight’ had come up briefly. It was generally agreed by all involved in the conversation that the idea was bullshit. One of the older kids had remarked that all it meant was that you wanted to fuck the shit out of the person.
Personally, Nadya wasn’t sure why anyone would actually want to fuck someone to the point of having them shit but there were a lot of things the older kids said that she didn’t quite understand.
She was positive she did not, in fact, want to fuck the shit out of Pavel. But that love at first sight thing, she wasn’t too certain one way or the other.
She let out a long sigh and tried rolling over in the bed to find a more comfortable position. All she succeeded in doing was making the bed creak loudly and another girl lying somewhere else in the room told her to ‘stick a fork up her cunt’.
Nadya considered getting up to smother the girl with her lumpy pillow. Her exhaustion convinced her that it’d be best to just remain in bed.
Her anger at the foul-mouthed bitch faded as her thoughts turned back to Pavel. Whether or not she was actually in love with him or not, which she did admit was pretty ridiculous to think that she could be in love with a boy she’d only seen for a grand total of maybe a minute before getting shuffled off to the sleeping quarters, she wanted to somehow keep him from getting tortured and humiliated for however long it took the rest of the children to more or less accept his presence at the orphanage.
Well, there is one way, Nadya thought to herself, finally feeling sleep start to creep up on her.
There’d be hell to pay, but what the hell?
Lesson Number One at Nikolaevna’s Orphanage for Lost Children was Life Is Hell. If not for you, then for the other person.
And who’s to say Nadya couldn’t bring a little hell to the others in turn?
A light smile formed on her face as her eyes drifted closed and she fell into a sleep far more restful than she’d managed to obtain in four years.
* * * *
The next morning, Nadya awoke before the rest of the children. It hadn’t been planned. Her eyes just snapped open and even though she was pretty sure she’d only been asleep for a few hours, she felt fully rested. Her dreams, which were usually filled with random visions of things that weren’t very pleasant, this time didn’t haunt her.
There was a fleeting image but it was hard to focus on and was gone before she could trace it back to the rest of the dream she’d been having. She did know it wasn’t a bad dream, and that Pavel had been there.
As she sat up in bed, Nadya found herself of the opinion that love at first sight involved more than just wanting to fuck fecal matter out of a person.
Aside from another brief creaking, which this time didn’t manage to stir any of the other girls in the room, Nadya was silent as she got up and slipped her worn shoes on before moving across the room and exiting. The sun was just barely creeping through the windows, which meant that she was probably the only one up.
Now she just had to find Pavel.
He’d looked about her age, maybe a year or two older, so that meant he was probably in the communal sleeping area for boys aged five to ten. Nadya’s plan of staying unnoticed and away from as many of the other children as possible had allowed her to explore most of the orphanage and find out where all the rooms were, so she didn’t have much trouble finding the one she was after.
Peeking into the room, she confirmed that none of the boys were awake yet. She crept in and started to look from bed to bed, searching out Pavel. She found him towards the back of the room and for several long moments, she stood over him, looking down at his sleeping form.
He was lying on his back, mouth half open and head tilted to the side a bit. His chest rose and fell slowly. He looked so peaceful. Despite the various curse words that were frequently used to describe the various things in the orphanage, Nadya found herself thinking of another word to describe Pavel that very rarely, if ever, came up.
Beautiful.
Without realizing it, Nadya’s hand had reached out for the boy’s face. She caught herself before stroking her fingers along his cheek and instead lowered her hand to his shoulder, giving him a soft shake. He woke suddenly, blinking the sleep from his eyes and trying to focus them on Nadya.
She put a finger to her lips, signaling him to remain quiet and crouched down next to the bed. “I’m Nadya,” she said, keeping her voice as low as possible so not to wake any of the other boys. “I want to help you.”
Pavel’s expression was one of confusion. His mouth was open, trying to form a response, but Nadya continued before he could. “You don’t know about this place, do you?”
He closed his mouth and shook his head.
Nadya’s jaw tightened. He looked so innocent. She didn’t know where he’d come from or why he was here, but she knew he didn’t deserve what fate had in store for him.
“The others. They’re going to hate you. Probably for a while. They’ll hurt you. I don’t want that.”
“What are you going to do?” he asked, and she finally got to hear his voice. Another word unfamiliar to her surroundings came to her.
Angelic.
And before she could stop herself, her hand did move up and touch his cheek gently.
“I’m going to help,” she said. “I’m going to keep them from hurting you.” Nadya glanced around. A few of the other boys in the room were starting to stir. “C’mon. We’re going outside.”
She watched him sit up and fumble with his shoes, her eyes shifting from him to the other boys. Once he was ready, she took hold of his hand and led him out of the room quickly.
* * * *
The orphanage was a large, square-shaped building with an inner courtyard. The inner courtyard was what was technically referred to as the ‘playground’, although not much playing went on out there. There were some wooden picnic tables set up that weren’t exactly the safest places to sit, for fear of splinters, rusty nails or, better yet, the entire thing collapsing due to rotten wood. A swing set with only one functional swing was off in one corner, along with a rusted metal slide that deposited the slider into a pit of dirt and rocks.
There were several trees, all of them dead.
The only plant-life was a few weeds that had sprouted up along the edges of the courtyard near the walls of the orphanage.
The courtyard was where the children spent most of their time. The adults would have claimed it was because it gave the kids more time to play, but really it was more likely that the courtyard was the most secure area of the orphanage. It made it more difficult for children to run away and easier for the single supervisor on duty to keep an eye on any scuffles.
Although that wasn’t always a guarantee that the supervisor would come to the rescue of any child in need of it.
Despite all that, there was enough open space in the courtyard that Nadya wouldn’t have to worry about getting cornered. It was about the best place she could think of to make a stand against the ranks of other children in the orphanage.
Fighting through almost sixty other children, most of them older and bigger than her, probably wasn’t the most brilliant of plans but she was running on instinct and young love.
She stood in front of Pavel, between him and the doors leading into the courtyard, as the first of the others started to file out.
From the looks on their faces, the boys that came out first had been curious as to where the new arrival had gotten to. They were already annoyed at having their fresh meat escape them and when they found him in the courtyard with the scrawny blonde girl in their way, their annoyance quickly turned to anger and, in some cases, amusement.
None of them approached her though. Not yet. More and more of the children piled out into the courtyard.
Finally, it was the larger girl who’d taken the piece of stone to Nadya’s chest who approached. Since then, Nadya had learned her name was Inga. She wore an ugly sneer on her face and pointed a thick finger over Nadya’s shoulder to Pavel.
“It’s time to pay for the fucking food you’re stealing from the rest of us.” Her finger shifted to aim at Nadya. “And you, worthless cunt, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Nadya stayed firm, tensing herself. “Leave him alone.”
The large girl laughed – more of a cackle really – and lowered her finger. A few of the other children joined in. “Or what? Is the worthless cunt going to defend her cocktoy?”
Nadya’s hands clenched into tight fists. Over the four years she’d spent at the orphanage, she’d only been in two fights. One she’d won, the other she hadn’t. Neither time, though, had she been so determined to win.
Odds be damned.
“I said… leave… him… alone…”
Inga glared at Nadya for a moment then let out a loud, angry bellow and charged the smaller girl. Nadya firmed herself up as Inga closed the distance between them. Part of her mind told her to turn and run. The girl had age, experience and weight advantages over her and suddenly her plan of beating every single opponent who came up against her didn’t seem all that feasible.
She managed a quick glance behind her and spotted Pavel, still standing behind her and looking a bit worried. All thoughts of running away fled her mind.
Nadya turned back to face Inga as the girl was just about to finish closing the distance between them. The larger girl had one fist cocked back, ready to smash into Nadya’s face.
With a speed she wasn’t even sure she was capable of, Nadya’s own fist shot up from her side, straight at Inga’s face. There was an audible crunching as her fist collided with the bottom of Inga’s nose and blood was already starting to squirt outwards as the larger girl’s forward momentum become more uncoordinated.
Inga collided with Nadya, knocking her backwards and landing on top of the smaller girl. Nadya felt her ribs creak from the pressure and her air was forced from her lungs, but more than that, she found herself confused.
Why wasn’t Inga swinging or kicking or biting at her?
Instead, she was just limp and the overwhelming smell of blood and something more reminiscent of the odor that came emanating from the bathrooms of the orphanage filled Nadya’s nostrils.
She scrambled out from under Inga, shoving her off and onto her back before jumping to her feet and looking down at the girl.
Inga’s nose now resembled a pig’s, flattened upwards. Blood covered her face and her eyes were staring blankly back up at her. A wet patch was darkening the crotch of her pants.
It was the first time Nadya had ever seen a dead body so close. Her fist was smeared with blood and throbbing. She stared in shock down at Inga’s corpse, unsure of what exactly she’d done or how. Then she looked to the large group of orphans standing before her, all of them just as stunned as she was.
Although she wasn’t sure how she’d done it, Nadya thought she’d just won the battle with a single punch.
None of the others seemed interested in attacking her or Pavel. Her shock turned into elation.
She’d won.
Suddenly, sharp pain streaked through the back of her head and she found herself stumbling forward, tripping over Inga’s body and falling face first into the dirt. Cringing, she started to push herself up and looked back, feeling her shock return just as quickly as it had faded.
There was Pavel, where he’d been all along.
Only now he was holding a large rock, the edge of which was darkened with blood.
Nadya’s blood.
She opened her mouth, unsure of what he’d done or why and intending to ask. Her words were instead drowned out by the cheer of the rest of the orphans and the ground started to rumble as the group charged en masse towards Nadya. The sight of Pavel was obstructed as the group swarmed around her.
Feet began to kick at her hard. She brought her arms and legs up around her, trying to shield herself from the blows as best as possible.
The physical pain grew stronger with each blow, but even as she took another hit to her head that knocked her into blackness, it never came close to the pain that was streaking through her heart. It felt as if it had been ripped in half. Her last thought before being knocked unconscious was:
Is this heartbreak?
* * * *
When Nadya woke up, she found herself in a bed that was not her bed, but it definitely wasn’t any more comfortable. The fact that her entire body was throbbing with pain didn’t help matters. She recognized the room she was in from the time Inga had carved her up.
Apparently, one of the adults had rescued her before the rest of the kids had beaten her to death. The thought of the beating immediately led to one of Pavel.
Why had he done it?
The cynical side of her mind, which was getting louder each year, immediately fired up a response.
To get accepted.
Even if, by some miracle, Nadya had managed to keep him from getting beaten that day, the others wouldn’t just leave him alone. They’d have come back for both of them and probably have given them even worse treatment than usual for a longer period of time.
So he’d made a decision.
Help take down the troublemaker who was putting a kink in the usual way things went in the orphanage.
By slamming a fucking rock into the back of her head.
The cynical side tried to make the argument that had been ingrained in her since day one at Nikolaevna’s Orphanage for Lost Children.
Life sucked.
People sucked even harder.
It didn’t matter if it was a fat, pig-faced bitch lying dead in the dirt, or the new boy who seemed like a beautiful angel upon first assessment.
Despite the rationalizations, Nadya’s heart still felt like it had taken the brunt of the beating.
The room was empty aside from her. She wasn’t sure what time it was, but it was dark once more. Getting out of the bed was a bit problematic with the amount of damage she’d taken from all the kicking but she managed. She limped her way to the window and shimmied it open, sliding out of it slowly and dropping to the ground outside. The night air chilled her, but she didn’t notice much.
Last night, she’d fallen asleep with a plan firmly set in her mind. Now that plan had blown up in her face and she had another.
Putting as much distance as possible between herself and Nikolaevna’s Orphanage for Lost Children and – more specifically – Pavel the Double-Crossing Shit-Eater as possible.
